Life is strange with it’s twists and turns. It can lift you up to the top of a mountain as if you are feather, and bring you down with a crashing thump like a heavy boulder dropped from a great height without warning. Dr. J. Vijayalakshmi, Assistant Professor in English, St Aloysius College, Mangaluru, takes us through one such roller-coaster ride.Going through the lane of the college, numerous memories peeped out into the grim reality of life. Neha dwelt on the happy old days, the days of friendship, the days of love, the days she cherished and the days of hope. She was very ambitious, ambitious to the core of carving a unique place for herself in the world. Having qualified from one of the prestigious institutions of India, her dreams transcended the horizon but the tables were turned upside down when she was diagnosed with sensory epilepsy- a rare kind of disorder where an individual can not only feel and experience the pain but also the severity of the fits is not evident to outside world. Even after ten years, she was struggling with life every day at both personal and professional levels. Her coherence of thought was interrupted by the arrival of Priyanka. Neha rushed forward to receive Priyanka but looking at Neha’s appearance Priyanka withdrew herself unconsciously,

“Hello, how are you Neha?” asked Priyanka.

But Priyanka tried to ignore Neha. She could read the indifference in her behavior. It was very difficult to digest the fact that at one point of time, they were very good friends. The money factor tore them apart. Now, she could see that Priyanka arrived in a BMW car and was elegantly dressed. She earned in lakhs and was shocked to see Gaurav with her.Neha’s eyes were full of tears, she tried to disappear from the scene as Gaurav was her ex-boyfriend.
The feelings of the past exploded in her with a tinge of sadness and profound pain. It was on the twelfth of January 2006 when Gaurav and Neha met for the first time. Their relationship lasted only for a year when she was at the peak of her career. Neha was the project head and Gaurav was her subordinate. Days and weeks passed happily in restaurants, movie theatres and tours and in the office too. The day of the engagement was also fixed. Neha was looking pretty, clad in a golden color sari. Gaurav spoke to Neha thus, “I can’t believe that you will be mine forever.”

“I love you darling. The moment I saw you I fell in love with you. I am not able to explain the binding factor between us.I just… ” Neha kissed him passionately. “You are mine, my sweet heart. I am ready to sacrifice anything for your happiness.”

“Do not speak about sacrifice. You are extremely talented and every one believes that you will soon be the CEO of some company”, said Gaurav.

Starting a software company was my dream. But now, you are more important to me. My priorities in life have changed and I want to spend more time with you”, replied Neha.

“We will together start a company and you will be the sole proprietor. The company will be named after you, Neha.”

The engagement was over. When Neha was about to leave, her chin on the left slid to the extreme left and her fingers twisted and she fell. It was only after a day that she awoke in the hospital. Relatives surrounded her. Gaurav was nowhere to be seen. When he returned, Neha told him that she wanted to hold his hand and get a moment of comfort, but he told her to take rest and he would return soon. Neha was discharged from the hospital. She became very weak and started to forget things. Once, Gaurav came to visit her but it was just for half-an -hour. Neha took a break from her career. She started to recover and she got better as days passed by. The visits from Gaurav reduced to mere phone calls. Neha decided to go to the office to give a surprise to Gaurav.

Her colleagues and friends were very happy.

“Where is Gaurav?’’ asked Neha.

“I thought that you came to send off Gaurav. He is going to USA for one year as he wanted a change”, replied Sakshi.

“When are you going to join duty? We are missing you a lot”, complained Kunal.

Neha went into Gaurav’s cabin which was once hers. He was upset. Neha began to speak, “Congrats! On your promotion”.

“I am sorry. I needed a change. So…”

This was the last time she saw Gaurav. On the way home, Neha collapsed again and this time it took around three months for her to recover. A relative of Gaurav came to meet Neha’s parents to convey that Gaurav’s family wanted to break the relationship.

The past has to be forgotten for the sake of the future.

With great courage, Neha replied, “I don’t own a car, I am not married and I am comfortable with my outfit”.

Soon the news of Neha being unmarried and poor spread everywhere. No one wanted to talk to her. She was left all alone. But, this sort of pain had become usual to her and it did not hurt her anymore. Everything changes according to time. Even people change.

Gaurav met her and began to speak to Neha, “You are not the same Neha that I saw ten years ago. My status has grown out of proportion. I now run a company for developing software. You might have heard about the famous brand – Priyanka“.

“Congrats”

“Can I do you a favour? We require a junior software engineer for our company. I usually pay 40,000 to them, but I can pay you more seeing your condition. What do you say?”
“No”, said Neha.

“I think I heard you wrong. Was it a “No”?

“Yes, a big No.”

They could not continue the conversation further as the award ceremony began.

The Vice-chancellor of the university presided over the function. And, when the name was announced everyone was dumbstruck, it was Neha Shrivastav. As she went to get the award, no one clapped. Everyone was frustrated and many started to leave. Neha went to the podium and started speaking, “I don’t deserve this award. I don’t deserve it at all. At the age of 24, when I graduated from this prestigious institution, if a few could remember, I was among the top 5 who was selected for various companies across the world.”

“Everything went on well for the first year. But suddenly, I collapsed with fits. I started forgetting things and my brain started de-generating. I became physically weak and I resigned. I didn’t realize that life doesn’t end unless you start losing hope. I wandered aimlessly from place to place without doing anything. Slowly, I started to observe people around me. They were physically and mentally handicapped people, who worked miracles in lives. I had a work to fulfil my dream now. I had sacrificed a year’s earning – the earnings of my life and dreamt of supporting the people who were physically and mentally challenged. I took a house on lease, appointed a doctor and staff to take care of those people. This small dream of mine gave rise to “Sweksha”- an NGO, the first of its kind in the town. The number grew, many of them recovered but alas! They were neither supported by the family nor by society. They returned saying that it’s heaven here. In my case-my fiancée, my best friends had thrown me outside their sphere. I fought bravely and everyday was a struggle for me. I survived and I wished to live for many more years for the sake of others. There are thousands of people in this world who need your help. Even, if you do not provide them help, do not let them down- try accept this 17% of the society who are unique and different as you may not know what they are really capable of.”

“I thank you for giving me an opportunity to vent my thoughts”.

Everyone gave a standing ovation to Neha. Now, they started to respect her and were proud of her.