“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for 🙂
An Ocean of Data: I apologize for not providing you with your weekly diet of satire last week, but I was otherwise unexpectedly pre-occupied with personal issues. I’m surprised you didn’t know because the data was available on Facebook, the biggest data reservoir after Google, and Aadhaar! and I presumed it had already leaked.
The Election Commission announced the dates of the Karnataka Elections on Tuesday. This was interestingly preceded by an announcement of the same on twitter by a national news channel that considers itself No1 in the Republic :), followed by IT cell chiefs of major political parties! The difference in timing from the official announcement was a few minutes, but it was their conduct that didn’t fit into the model code of conduct!
Wily Wylie: Where are Nirav Modi and Mehul Choksi – nobody seems to care anymore. What happened to the money stolen? Nobody seems to care anymore. What happened to the 39 Indians killed in Mosul, but kept virtually kept alive by the Government till the announcement in Parliament – nobody seems to care anymore. What happened to the no confidence motion moved by various political parties – Nobody seems to care anymore, not even the parliamentarians who have no confidence in the Institution itself. Everyone, but everyone is pre-occupied with their Facebook presence… from the IT Minister downwards….and all because of wily Wylie! the now famous Cambridge Analytica snitch who apparently worked part time for the firm and left it in 2014…(according to the firm) to reveal all in 2018, – It’s unclear what moved his conscience or if he has one – Love of privacy or short term fame – Nobody seems to care anymore.
Facebook the marketing genius: Businessmen have been using Facebook to market their products for some time now because Facebook is supposed to read your face…. (That’s why it’s called Facebook) understand what and how you think from what and whom you like, from what you say about yourself and your habits – reading, eating, watching, listening and loving on their website or app which innocently asks your permission to access everything on your phone which today is like your spouse – constantly at your side watching you (Doesn’t criticize though). They even let third party quizzes and personality assessment apps steal your data for a fee – In fact that’s how the CA firm collected a part of its data.
Consequently they can themselves, for a fee of course, direct businessmen to a target audience or target an audience for the businessman through their own data analytics and interpretation or third party consultancies like Cambridge Analytica which today is in the eye of a storm for stealing data from Facebook and using it to profile and target voters on behalf of various political parties in various countries for electoral gains. It’s supposed to find out which way you swing and then alter the dynamics of the swing so you tilt the other way. Does it work? – Check your swing….2009, 2014, 2018.
Government’s in a tizzy: Not sure why everyone is in a tizzy about it and indeed they are – from the entire government to the IT Minister who seemed most disturbed by the developments, that he announced the very next day he would issue summons to Mark Zuckerberg to appear before India’s caged parrots!. Perhaps the two meetings between the head of a huge data base and the head of huge market in 2015 and 2017 weighed heavy.
There’s a virtual war on Facebook itself about who used Facebook data and how, to win or lose elections. But political parties have been swaying voters this way or that since time immemorial with freebies, posters, newspaper ad campaigns, door to door campaigns, monetary inducements, threats and community appeals since time immemorial – the way they woo voters or rather manipulate them evolves with every election and the new means at hand. Facebook and its data is just one of such means and indeed changed voter outlook in 2014 giving voters an alternative it didn’t think it needed earlier and may have regretted ever since….Only Facebook can say…
The interesting part is that the Analytica snitch told a UK Parliamentary committee (quite committed is this committee – they called him to testify as soon as he went public – unlike in India) that the Congress party was their client. The Congress party denied it – and this is the more interesting part – If as he says they were the firm’s client, then why do they keep losing election after election? According to other expert testimony before the committee, a billionaire Indian businessman was paying them to ensure that the Congress party lost the elections! This seems more plausible given the firm’s reputation for doing its job well the Congress party for doing its own badly.
It’s an interesting time – a time when information is king or rather makes and sustains kings, and the collection of citizen information via an assigned number is the subject of an ongoing hearing in the Supreme Court – The message – data analysis, interpretation and human manipulation is good if it is under the make in India scheme.
Karnataka Assembly Polls: Data Analysis and algorithm manipulation for the Karnataka Assembly Polls will have to be done quietly – without leaks to avoid controversy given the current data debate in the country. Such leaks are unlikely given that it won’t be handled by the CBSE or other exam authorities but election season is the season for bees with a sting in their tails, whistlers, whiners and hackers – so the sun may shine at the South Pole at any time!
Given the Facebook controversy, Political leaders are trying hard to sway voters to the other side without Facebook. The president of the main opposition in Karnataka, at a press conference in Karnataka while in election mode, called his own chief ministerial candidate the most corrupt in the stateand then course corrected immediately, but Facebook was quick to leak the data….
Meanwhile the Siddaramaiah-led Congress government in Karnataka on March 19 decided to change the tag line of the country – unity in diversity to diversity in unity, His cabinet declared Lingayats as a religious minority and include the Veerashaivas, who follow Basavanna as a group within the community, but in a constitutionally correct and politically hawking move left it to the Union Government to approve it. They are now caught between the Western Ghats and the Arabian Sea and nowhere to run but back up north!
H1B Visa Season: In the US, its H1B season again and Indians are in for a hard time this time. No more three year visas – Only specific projects and specific skills are being welcomed and what is worse Anti-H1B posters have been plastered in San Fransisco’s prominent Bay Area Rapid Transport (BART) train stations, and will soon be seen inside trains in the heart of San Francisco Bay Area and will stay there for at least a full month in an ad buy worth $80,000 bang at the start of the new H1B filing season which opens 2 April. So no jobs back home, despite a digital and swacch India and no jobs in America – where do our smart guys go?There’s a whole world of data out there ready to be hacked and whacked…
Statue Vandalism: In Tamil Nadu, a statue of Periyar the social reformer was vandalised by unidentified persons in Pudukkottai. A case was registered and investigation is ongoing ongoing ongoing. The apparent message – economic reforms are welcome, social reforms are not. Also, statue lynching is a new way to communicate hatred apparently- Human lynching other than by official encounters is being frowned upon by some political parties (not all), part of the media (not all), courts (recent judgements in Jharkhand are an example) and the law, (not law enforcement though). It seems a good substitute – a violent, yet nonviolent revolution!. But the number of statues standing is dwindling, and the haters will soon return to their original targets – humans!
Ball Tampering scandal: Oh Stevie, “Your cheatin’ heart,, will make you weep, You’ll cry and cry, And try to sleep, But sleep won’t come, The whole night through, Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you..” (Courtesy Hank Williams) and indeed Stevie did weep on arrival in disgrace from South Africa after the ball pampering (the paper was found in the pampers) scandal in the third cricket test between Australia and South Africa.
He cried, because he felt remorse – as he said it was under his watch as captain that the pre-meditated cheating took place. Cricket Australia was quick to act, banning the Captain – the backer, the Vice Captain – the planner and motivator and the rookie Bancroft – the lead actor for 12 and 9 months respectively – this when the ICC had only banned them for a match. Hats off to them because two out of the three are huge stars in Australia. If they had been born in India, Cricket India, would have attributed the cheating to a system failure and the groundsman would have been sacked for leaving sand paper on the playing field.
Have a good weekend and a joyful Easter (for those of you who celebrate it) and a great week ahead.
The Author may be contacted at [email protected]
