“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for 🙂
Heal the world, make it a better place for you and for me and he entire human race… Michael Jackson’s famous song is increasingly falling on deaf ears in India. We have no ear for music, heart for tenderness or tongue for respect. Else, what explains the unending reports of rapes of children across the country by neighbours, juveniles and law makers; a 2-day-old baby girl flushed down a toilet, a professor offering her students marks and money in return for sexual favours etc.? Tigers in the Bannerghatta National Park are possibly better behaved, maybe because Jekyll and Hyde restrictions and norms that are imposed on us humans especially in India, don’t apply – not yet.
It was Juliet who asked, “what’s in a name, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet“. But, it would seem in India, from rape to marriage, from bomb blasts to encounters, everything’s in the name – All names do not smell as sweet. Across India, thousands of people held a lit candle and marched in memory of a child victim with a name, a name that should not have been revealed, a name that became unfortunately iconic, hoping that light will drive away the monsters in the dark. Little did they know some of those monsters too lit a candle and perhaps joined the march thinking of their next victim? (Most of the rapes being reported currently seem now to be premeditated unlike the Nirbhaya case). Meanwhile, wax dripped onto the floor, even as people were careful to see it never soiled their clothes or shoes. And like Elton John sang in tribute of the American actress Norma Jean, it seems to me that we live our lives like a candle in the wind…which will be blown out long before our lives even end…
Meanwhile, the PM was away in Sweden and the UK on a five day trip, not wanting to, but having to put the ghost of Bofors behind and sign new deals with Sweden and other Nordic countries. He took along a business delegation but we don’t know who, because it’s classified information – Their identities will possibly be known, once deals are signed, but it’s unlikely that there will be any surprises.
In London, in April, he also met with PM May and discussed terrorism and trade. He did not meet with Vijay Mallya or Lalit Modi, possibly because the return flight was already full. While in London, he sent a message to the Karnataka voter, when he unveiled the granite bust of 12th century social reformer Basaveshwara on the banks of river Thames in London. The Message – unlike what my party did in Tripura – bring down a statue and a legacy, I am unveiling this granite bust to respect a legacy…
The PM was also the star attendee at a well-choreographed and televised party hall (as distinct from town hall) where his legendary oratorical skills were on full display to the delight of those permitted to attend after careful scrutiny. It was held in London for NRIs, but called Bharat ki Baat, Sabke Sath! The PM said he welcomed criticism (well-founded) as distinct from allegations (unfounded) but there was none of either at the Q&LA session (Question and Long Answer).
The PM decided to follow his own advice to the former PM after the former PM had recently requested him to do so, and spoke on a variety of subjects concerning India to people who had abandoned India long ago for greener climes and pastures. He spoke to them about new roads and toilets, the pace of development and other achievements of his government in four years in India. While they seemed to listen intently on television, I can’t fathom how much it mattered to them, because they seemed to have driven to the venue on well paved roads and were already living in en-suite villas and flats (albeit having toilets without mugs or toilet faucets, only toilet paper) and had no plans to return to the mother land. He also finally spoke on rape, telling the NRIs that such heinous crimes should not be politicised. He didn’t say anything about being communalised.
The week saw many ATMs run dry across several states including poll-bound Karnataka and Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Gujarat, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh and the capital city- Delhi. The government called it ‘a temporary cash crunch’. Many theories were floated – from stealth DeMo, to a poll squeeze. The FM, the Govt’s economic advisor and the RBI were quick to can the rumours saying it was a technical issue and it will be set right soon. The people were further reassured when they did not hear the friendly call to arms that begins with “Mitron” (not used since November 8th 2016). Digital wallets who seemed to have lost out on business as the cash in circulation reached pre DeMo levels, stepped in to fill the void just as they did during, and in the days after DeMo.
Recall the famous Beatles song “Ticket to ride”?: “I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today, yeah. The party, it’s driving me mad, my seat, it’s going away. He got the ticket to ride, he got the ticket to ride, he got the ticket to ride, why should I care?” I’ve taken the liberty to modify the lyrics a little to suit the occasion.
A major portion of the official lists of party candidates were released this week by the three main contenders – BJP, Congress and the JD(S). The reactions were a joy to watch – tears, yes tears! (Unusual), vandalism (normal), burning of effigies (normal), party hopping (normal), Trojan horse manoeuvres (also very normal) and the like. It seemed that a ticket to ride from their party HQs was the most important event of their lives, to what end is not clear as yet – power, wealth, status, pension or just plain service to the nation – Can’t rule that out with a stroke of the keyboard!
Whodunit? The rape and killing of an 8-year-old girl in Jammu, 11-year-old girls in Surat and Assam, the rape of a 16-year-old girl in Unnao, the Malegaon Blasts, the Mecca Masjid Blasts, the murder of Gauri Lankesh and other social reformists, Sowjanya in DK District, and other unsolved mysteries especially crimes against women. Nobody knows.
If the social and electronic media is to be believed, some think they know and the investigative agencies and government think they know better and often the twain differ (depending on which channel you are watching or which digital media you are reading!). But, when the cases come to court, sorry… IF the cases come to court, the court says it’s not them who did it but, then don’t say who – it’s not their role. So Whodunit? Still nobody knows, not even Agatha Christie, and nobody ever will, because memories, except of the victims (if they are still alive) and their families, are short and the Judges, prosecutors and policemen who know are transferred, resign or die… The bamboos too know, but they recognise the direction of the wind very well. They are never bamboozled.
Even as the PM met the Queen, the head of the commonwealth, (called so because what was ours is now theirs!) our athletes brought back to India some of the wealth from the Gold Coast in Australia – 66 medals of Gold, Silver and Bronze in fact. India’s highest tally at the games. Along with medals, they brought back pride, prestige and a renewal of interest in games other than cricket. Unfortunately, the hockey teams (the game India gave the world) lost out. This game has become common wealth now…
Last word: A slew of petitions for an unnatural relook into Judge Loya’s natural death were dismissed by the Supreme Court. Justice is finally done, but is it seen to be done? Depends on your optics. One thing seems certain. There’s only one unregulated pillar of democracy standing – social and digital media, but mind you, not for long – regulation is just a committee away…
It is likely that the committee will take into consideration the recent revelation by the new Tripura CM that the Internet has been around since the time of the Mahabharata and was the cause of all the misunderstandings and wars of the time.
Don’t get disheartened. Laugh your blues away. Have a good weekend and a great week ahead.
The author can be contacted at [email protected]
