Children show varied types of emotions. It changes from minute to minute. The happy child can be sad in the very next moment. Children’s outward expression and emotional outbursts are not that easy to handle.
Positive emotions such as happy, joy, and excitement create positive vibes and elevate positive mood. But younger children or toddlers might get happy feeling after eating their favourite candy or breaking their toy car. The latter feeling is inappropriate when it comes to expressing it where as negative feelings such as sad, frustration, anger, jealousy, and disappointment will make the child feel miserable and allow others to easily dislike them. However, there are certain things parents need to understand when it comes to children’s emotions.
Many children do not express their feeling in an appropriate way and do not know what kind of feeling they are going through. Hence it is parents’ responsibility to make them understand and aware about the feelings and right way of expressing it.
Teach them about emotions
In many cases children throw tantrums unaware of the fact that how do they or others feel. Children need to understand and be able to differentiate the feelings. Before that they need to be aware about different feelings. This can happen only when they see and relate to feelings. Parents need to verbalize the feelings often. For example; “Hey you look happy today” or “Grandma is feeling sad because she is missing grandpa.” While narrating stories or watching cartoons you can pause and ask how those characters would feel. You can also play dumbcharades to express different feelings.
Train your child to express feelings in a proper way
Throwing tantrums, hitting, and crying are the consequences of negative feelings. Every human being must go through both positive and negative feelings. This is not exceptional for children. However, children need to be trained regarding how to express it in an appropriate way. When a child gets angry, he/she might vent his/her feelings by hitting on self or others or crying or throwing/breaking things. This reaction might be learned or imitated from the surroundings. However, there are simple management techniques like leaving the place immediately, hitting on soft pillow (to vent out the aggression), which are needed to be explained. Children can talk about how do they feel or an elder can explain about the consequences of reacting to such negative feelings. You can give them time to think and talk about how would they feel or how others perceive the situation.
Do not entertain outburst or attention seeking behaviours
It is common that parents cannot see their child getting upset, sad or angry or with tears in their eyes. In order to stop these feelings children are rewarded with things like chocolates or toys. However, if this pattern continues they get habituated and seek attention for rewards. A child might repeatedly pull his brother because the parents promised to give his favourite chocolate if he stops doing the behaviour. Instead explain to the child about what happens when he/she repeatedly does that behaviour or sometimes simply ignore it.
Do not announce your child is sensitive with teachers and the rest
Announcing your child is sensitive with teachers or others goes only to show that your child cannot handle emotions. Stop labeling or entertaining these behaviours. Teach them emotion-handling techniques. Meanwhile, also teach children how to calm down in certain situations. Deep breathing exercises, counting numbers backward, and pressing soft pillow are few simple anger management techniques. Frequently exposing children to calming places, soothing music or art are the best way for them to bring out calmness.
Children go through different kinds of emotions and it is common. However, appropriate way of expressing those emotions need to be taught at an early age. You teach them how to regulate anger but your child witnesses you throwing your phone after hanging up might not be a good way of teaching your child since it models how you regulate your emotions. Thus provide a greater environment to raise a emotionally wealthy child.
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